I have been back to work since Wed. But I haven't been able to to focus on anything. There is alot going on in my life right now and many decisions are being made or going to be made.
All I ask for is support. No judging or comparisons. Just support. Believe me I don't let it all out in the open and I have my reasons I have tried that in the past. It doesn't help me it hurts me and it hurts me bad.
As I am trying to figure out things and as the days and weeks go by I will still blog and try to be as upbeat as I can. Yesterday was a horrible day for me. My sister got the worst of it but not even close to what I was feeling. I broke down at work, embarrassing, I don't think anyone noticed but I just wanted to scream and cry my eyes out to get all of the bad energy out of me.
Funny thing two days ago I looked up at the frame on the wall of my name and meaning and the last line said. Survivor. that I am able to pick of the pieces. It made me smile. I have been in denial and knew it for some time. Thats just me and my personality I guess. Kinda like procrastination of my life. All I want it to be happy so if denial did it so be it. And it helps to be busy all of the time.
This is the most upbeat I have been and the worst time in my life since the divorce , the accident(mom) and the alcoholism(mom). But my mind is somewhat clear and everything is changing and ending. Weird huh.
I have been worse over less and that was me figuring out life.
I am a hard bitch with a soft heart. That is a usual combination for people like me. If your a hard bitch with a hard heart that kinda makes you the devil. We all have our krptonite no matter what type of person you are. I am a product of figuring out life on my own. This stuff happens. No one is perfect we all make mistakes. We pick ourselves back up and dust ourselves off and keep on living one day to the next.
I found out some fucked up information today on top of everything else that is going on with me. I need to chill the fuck out and free myself and clear this pain out of my body.
I mean the shit has been falling on me hard and it is making me a stronger person in a sense for what reason I don't know but I am going to follow the road that I am given. Because there has got to be some meaning in all of this. If not, my bad I guess.
I had it good, I was fine, I thought I could fix everything on my own, by myself. I can only fix me. No one else. I can help other people fix themselves and give advice and a helping hand and all of my compassion and caring. That goes to anyone in my life that I love and is true to me. No fakes. My people and if you are reading this you are one of those people. Even if we haven't know each other that long. I can read a person and stray away from the others.
My love is strong and it is deep in my heart.
My friendship is true and is to the end.
My family(my people) are protected from evil, I will try everything to keep it away.
This is me. No matter what happens in my life I am still there for everyone. I was obviously built to handle these situations.
I am so excited for Isabelle and Alex coming into this world, nothing will ever change that. Please don't take or keep anything from me I want it all I want to enjoy this with the both of you no matter what happens in my life. I don't put myself first. I just want to make sure everyone else is taken care of first.
The worst thing that could happen to me and hurt my feelings the most is my friends and family thinking less of me. I was able to keep my life private up until these last two years. I have been the oldest, the leader, the everything. And I can't say that anymore. I don't think anyone can understand that fully. Take away almost everything that makes you you. Unfortunately not everyone in my life gets to read this blog. And totally understand me. Believe me its hard to understand myself.
I am mad at myself for not being better. I know that I am beating myself up over it. I gave up for a little bit and it felt horrible. I have to leave it all in the past. Because I am going to be by myself in a sense.
I have been rambling for a long time at work and crying no one has noticed. But everyone of these words I mean and have meaning. This is how I am feeling and I just need some support.
Im sure there is tons more to say but this enough for today. I have a interesting March to go through.
April will be better babies are coming, Spring, a new life for me.
Here is an example about what I was talking about earlier. I just got a call from my sister about how her day is panning out. Lets just say she fell down some stair and got poked with a fishing lure to name a few. Every emotion from being in the middle of writing this went away and listened and ended up laughing.
So not all blabbly now and getting ready to leave work.
Thanks for reading this.
Love, Jen
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Uhhgg... that is how I feel
I think i am just tired and not very socialable today. Every day is different for me. I beezed through my days off. I didn't relax at all.
Sunday: I know I said I wasn't doing anything, but I went to the mall with my sister. I had some gift cards, I didn't get anything it was a productive day for her. I did get home just in time for Big Brother. Wow I don't care for Jen. Shes too much, a little bit of a big head and a big mouth.
Monday: Crazy day as always, I had a crotch Dr appointment and was put on Yaz, i asked. Went out to Jackis to hang for a couple of hours before we had to leave for Orland. We dropped Mia off at the In laws and went to "the fancy fish place" Taco Bell/Long John Silvers in Frankfort with Michelle. Left from there straight to the meeting. Did shoebox swaps til 11:00 at night. and didn't leave Connies until 2:00 ish. I didn't get home until 3:00ish. Busy long day.
Tuesday: Slept in, I was having anziety problems so my sleep was jacked up. barely gave myself enough time to get to the Eye Dr. I went in for my contact check up. Everything looks good. my new contacts feel good. Now I need to order some. Oh I am getting new glasses and want Sarah to come back with me to help pick them out. Some decisions I need a second opinion on.
So I talk to Sarah and she wants to move some boxes out of her house to my basement i told her that i would help her sometime this week. Did I want to do it, not really. So she calles my Dad and we loaded everything she had ready to go into the van and my car. Loading, she has two flights of stairs and I have one going down to the basement. It was also colder than shit outside.
But she was thankful and i was happy to help, thats what I do.
When I was driving her home, she wanted to eat, we went to Chilis, tasty and then hung out at her house for a little bit. We has a blast making no bake cookies. I forgot about Big Brother. I could have watched it at her house damn it. But I caught my other show.
I really wanted to put together my table for camp the next day, but I was wiped and pissed that I was cold.
Wednesday: Another crazy day. i even made a time breakdown, but that got screwed up. Here we go.
9:00Woke up took shower
Drove to work
10:00Got to work
10;00-12:45 meeting and lunch
12:45 left work
Damn I have no phone, starts to screw things up
1:20 Get home just to leave again, get phone.
1:30 Dennis drives and I go to Michaels(snail) Dollar Store(paper products) UltraFoods(water) Burger King(lunch for Dennis)
2:15ish Home from that crap
2:15 Start attacking my dining room. getting the table ready for camp. breaking down order i got in same day. Pulling out paper and supplies needed for camp.
3:15ish Sarah comes over to pick up order and talk to me until
4:00ish Leave my camp crap to drive across town to pay my ComEd bill. It was due that day.
4:00-4:45 speak to Jacki on phone while driving and paying bill. Catching up and occcasional bitching from me about the stupid camp, that I have in mear hours.
4:45ish sit down the moment I come in the house and attempt to put projects together.
6:15 Class starts at 6:00 everyone is late and I just finished the last project.
6:15-8:30ish class, only two people One cancelled and one left really early. Easy camp they are happy.
8:45 I start dinner and my show comes on at 9:00
9:00ish I call Sarah back about Lunar eclipse and miss half my show, boo. whatever.
9:00-1:00 eat and watch random shows before getting tired enough to go to bed.
I didn't clean up anything. So I had a couple minutes here and there to breath. HA
Sunday: I know I said I wasn't doing anything, but I went to the mall with my sister. I had some gift cards, I didn't get anything it was a productive day for her. I did get home just in time for Big Brother. Wow I don't care for Jen. Shes too much, a little bit of a big head and a big mouth.
Monday: Crazy day as always, I had a crotch Dr appointment and was put on Yaz, i asked. Went out to Jackis to hang for a couple of hours before we had to leave for Orland. We dropped Mia off at the In laws and went to "the fancy fish place" Taco Bell/Long John Silvers in Frankfort with Michelle. Left from there straight to the meeting. Did shoebox swaps til 11:00 at night. and didn't leave Connies until 2:00 ish. I didn't get home until 3:00ish. Busy long day.
Tuesday: Slept in, I was having anziety problems so my sleep was jacked up. barely gave myself enough time to get to the Eye Dr. I went in for my contact check up. Everything looks good. my new contacts feel good. Now I need to order some. Oh I am getting new glasses and want Sarah to come back with me to help pick them out. Some decisions I need a second opinion on.
So I talk to Sarah and she wants to move some boxes out of her house to my basement i told her that i would help her sometime this week. Did I want to do it, not really. So she calles my Dad and we loaded everything she had ready to go into the van and my car. Loading, she has two flights of stairs and I have one going down to the basement. It was also colder than shit outside.
But she was thankful and i was happy to help, thats what I do.
When I was driving her home, she wanted to eat, we went to Chilis, tasty and then hung out at her house for a little bit. We has a blast making no bake cookies. I forgot about Big Brother. I could have watched it at her house damn it. But I caught my other show.
I really wanted to put together my table for camp the next day, but I was wiped and pissed that I was cold.
Wednesday: Another crazy day. i even made a time breakdown, but that got screwed up. Here we go.
9:00Woke up took shower
Drove to work
10:00Got to work
10;00-12:45 meeting and lunch
12:45 left work
Damn I have no phone, starts to screw things up
1:20 Get home just to leave again, get phone.
1:30 Dennis drives and I go to Michaels(snail) Dollar Store(paper products) UltraFoods(water) Burger King(lunch for Dennis)
2:15ish Home from that crap
2:15 Start attacking my dining room. getting the table ready for camp. breaking down order i got in same day. Pulling out paper and supplies needed for camp.
3:15ish Sarah comes over to pick up order and talk to me until
4:00ish Leave my camp crap to drive across town to pay my ComEd bill. It was due that day.
4:00-4:45 speak to Jacki on phone while driving and paying bill. Catching up and occcasional bitching from me about the stupid camp, that I have in mear hours.
4:45ish sit down the moment I come in the house and attempt to put projects together.
6:15 Class starts at 6:00 everyone is late and I just finished the last project.
6:15-8:30ish class, only two people One cancelled and one left really early. Easy camp they are happy.
8:45 I start dinner and my show comes on at 9:00
9:00ish I call Sarah back about Lunar eclipse and miss half my show, boo. whatever.
9:00-1:00 eat and watch random shows before getting tired enough to go to bed.
I didn't clean up anything. So I had a couple minutes here and there to breath. HA
Saturday, February 16, 2008
I did it...
I got up early. It was hard, but my body woke up a little bit to get ready. But man I hit the car and I swear I was getting off work. Its colder then cold outside so I have the heat on right. The heat was putting me back to sleep. It was an interesting ride.
I got here and ate my oatmeal and had some nasty coffee. I don't like the taste of coffee. I would of loved a Starbucks though.
So I have been reading and commenting on blogs and checking out Stampin Up stuff. I do have a movie to watch. 13 going on 30. Jayme, I think you said you just watched this one? Murcie, coworker, left it for me to watch. Yay! I heard its hilarious. I am caught up on all of my shows so I have Sixteen Candles and my other sight to watch if I need to. I will be here for awhile today. I totally screwed myself the day I woke up sick. Unforntunatly I couldn't take the day off or PTO so now I am working mad crazy. Its always something.
I do have to say what makes it hard to be a morning person is that I feel horrible if I wake up too early and try to get ready. I have been this way since I've been a kid. If I can sleep to 9 or 10 I usually have no problems. So thats that.
OOh. I did being my projects to work on here at work. The sucky thing is I don't have white paper. I really would of liked to finish them today. Who know maybe I will get some.
My order is coming in on the day of my camp, seriously, give me an f'ing break. So I will have to try to figure out the projects with out the kit. Fun. Stampin Up screwed me. There OEX system crapped out and my order sat for two days. Oh well. But I am grateful that it is coming on wed. My UPS guy comes earlier, thank you for that.
I really want time off. I am planning on doing nothing on Sunday, the weather is supposed to be shitty so I am locking myself in side the house. no errands, I will sleep as long as I can and just veg all day. I might need some food though. So I might have to run one errand. I don't wanna. i am like a little kid right know. You can't make me. Ha!
I am cold. I need to bring the temperature up in here. :"There an ice box where my office used to be, Im so cold, Im so cold, Im so cold". If you know the Omarion song that would be funny.
So enjoy your days everyone.
Jen
I got here and ate my oatmeal and had some nasty coffee. I don't like the taste of coffee. I would of loved a Starbucks though.
So I have been reading and commenting on blogs and checking out Stampin Up stuff. I do have a movie to watch. 13 going on 30. Jayme, I think you said you just watched this one? Murcie, coworker, left it for me to watch. Yay! I heard its hilarious. I am caught up on all of my shows so I have Sixteen Candles and my other sight to watch if I need to. I will be here for awhile today. I totally screwed myself the day I woke up sick. Unforntunatly I couldn't take the day off or PTO so now I am working mad crazy. Its always something.
I do have to say what makes it hard to be a morning person is that I feel horrible if I wake up too early and try to get ready. I have been this way since I've been a kid. If I can sleep to 9 or 10 I usually have no problems. So thats that.
OOh. I did being my projects to work on here at work. The sucky thing is I don't have white paper. I really would of liked to finish them today. Who know maybe I will get some.
My order is coming in on the day of my camp, seriously, give me an f'ing break. So I will have to try to figure out the projects with out the kit. Fun. Stampin Up screwed me. There OEX system crapped out and my order sat for two days. Oh well. But I am grateful that it is coming on wed. My UPS guy comes earlier, thank you for that.
I really want time off. I am planning on doing nothing on Sunday, the weather is supposed to be shitty so I am locking myself in side the house. no errands, I will sleep as long as I can and just veg all day. I might need some food though. So I might have to run one errand. I don't wanna. i am like a little kid right know. You can't make me. Ha!
I am cold. I need to bring the temperature up in here. :"There an ice box where my office used to be, Im so cold, Im so cold, Im so cold". If you know the Omarion song that would be funny.
So enjoy your days everyone.
Jen
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Stampin Up Crazy Card making
So Tuesday me and Jacki go together to stamp we have a meeting coming up On Monday and it was kinda like doing double work.
For the Meeting we have to make 16 card fronts using orduct from the new mini. .
Also we have to do a Shoebox, you make one card front then break down all of the pieced need to make the card and put them in baggies the shoebox gets passed around and everyone else makes your card.
In addition to the above:
I have a class on Wednesday with a kit called Pockets and Pieces. The good thing that helps me out on this one is Jacki just did this camp, so i can get ideas from her. I have four people coming.
After this class, now I have to start thinking about what trades I am going to do for Holland which is in a month. We usually make between 50-100.
March 5th is a class on New felt flowers four people hopefully I have to come up with four different project to do using the flowers.
I probably be actually working on trades for Holland at this point.
March 14th-15th Holland Seminar yay road trip
March 17th Meeting need to have 16 trades made- Note I will have to have these made before Holland
March 19th Class on Sticky Cuts for four people. I should get this together before Holland also or I will want to pull my hair out.
So lets add this up After the meeting and my camp this week I have a lot to do before March 14th.
Holy crap I am glad it is written out because I need to start figuring everything out.
For the Meeting we have to make 16 card fronts using orduct from the new mini. .
Also we have to do a Shoebox, you make one card front then break down all of the pieced need to make the card and put them in baggies the shoebox gets passed around and everyone else makes your card.
In addition to the above:
I have a class on Wednesday with a kit called Pockets and Pieces. The good thing that helps me out on this one is Jacki just did this camp, so i can get ideas from her. I have four people coming.
After this class, now I have to start thinking about what trades I am going to do for Holland which is in a month. We usually make between 50-100.
March 5th is a class on New felt flowers four people hopefully I have to come up with four different project to do using the flowers.
I probably be actually working on trades for Holland at this point.
March 14th-15th Holland Seminar yay road trip
March 17th Meeting need to have 16 trades made- Note I will have to have these made before Holland
March 19th Class on Sticky Cuts for four people. I should get this together before Holland also or I will want to pull my hair out.
So lets add this up After the meeting and my camp this week I have a lot to do before March 14th.
Holy crap I am glad it is written out because I need to start figuring everything out.
Holy Dr. Appts.
I am trying to set goals and accomplish them lately and this is one of them.
I have made 4 Dr. Appts.
Gyno, she is yearly, but I put my foot down and changed Dr.'s. I am going to Dr. Umpai now, we'll see how it goes. I couldn't take my office anymore.
Eye Doc, Finally getting some contacts that hopefully don't make me want to gouge my eyes out. That is why I wear glasses. I went to the first appt on Tuesday, love the office and the Dr. Went well. Thanks Jacki for the reference. So I think I am getting new glasses too. Mine are all scratched up.
Dentist: New Dr. also. I have Metlife now so I have more than two choices. I am going to Sarahs Dentist, it is right next door to my old dentist weird. My mom and little sister go there to and my cousin was his wedding planner. Sarah didn't know that when she went. So the reseptionist was so helpful and nice. Not that I had many problems with the other office. Lets just say I had the worst X-rays ever taken.
Dermatologist: Thanks Jayme for the reference. I am really happy that I found a Derm that someone had been to. This is my face and body we are talking about I want a good Dr.
I have been putting this off for years, too many. I do have better insurance I think and I have a Flex spending card that really helps. The reseptionist was very helpful and so nice and didn't put me on hold and forget about me like some offices do. I had a bunch of questions and she answered them. Yea. I am a little scared about this one just with the moles and all. I am also going for my face. It has been breaking out like crazy and I think I have Rosacea.
Well thats all of my Dr. Appts they are all in the next two/three weeks. At least I am getting them all out of the way.
I have made 4 Dr. Appts.
Gyno, she is yearly, but I put my foot down and changed Dr.'s. I am going to Dr. Umpai now, we'll see how it goes. I couldn't take my office anymore.
Eye Doc, Finally getting some contacts that hopefully don't make me want to gouge my eyes out. That is why I wear glasses. I went to the first appt on Tuesday, love the office and the Dr. Went well. Thanks Jacki for the reference. So I think I am getting new glasses too. Mine are all scratched up.
Dentist: New Dr. also. I have Metlife now so I have more than two choices. I am going to Sarahs Dentist, it is right next door to my old dentist weird. My mom and little sister go there to and my cousin was his wedding planner. Sarah didn't know that when she went. So the reseptionist was so helpful and nice. Not that I had many problems with the other office. Lets just say I had the worst X-rays ever taken.
Dermatologist: Thanks Jayme for the reference. I am really happy that I found a Derm that someone had been to. This is my face and body we are talking about I want a good Dr.
I have been putting this off for years, too many. I do have better insurance I think and I have a Flex spending card that really helps. The reseptionist was very helpful and so nice and didn't put me on hold and forget about me like some offices do. I had a bunch of questions and she answered them. Yea. I am a little scared about this one just with the moles and all. I am also going for my face. It has been breaking out like crazy and I think I have Rosacea.
Well thats all of my Dr. Appts they are all in the next two/three weeks. At least I am getting them all out of the way.
My shows...breakdown
So finally I post about my shows:
Tuesday:
8:00 Big Brother:
I am happy that I am going to try and watch this show this year all of the way through. I saw the first episode and love it already. The couples twist is cool. The only sucky thing is that CBS waits 2 days to put the show up so I will get behind a little.
9:00 Bad Girls Club:
This is a crazy show but it give me and Dennis something to watch. He used to be against all reality shows but he does watch some now, which is good for me. The girls in the house are always fighting about something.
10:00 Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency:
This is the last show I think I ever thought I would watch and like. But it comes on the same channel as the above and its not so bad. She does stand up for her models. She can be a bitch sometimes but it if funny.
Wednesday
7:00 Big Brother
9:00 Gauntlet:
I love any show that has to do with Real World or Road Rules, especially the challages. I have watch Real World since day one and have only missed a couple of seasons. There is a tons of hookups this time around and that always makes good TV. ooh and it is an hour long. I been wanting that forever.
Thursday
9:00 Americas Best Dance Crew:
These crews kick ass at dancing which I love to do. They are really talented and its an hour long show I really enjoy. I don't care for Mario Lopez as the host.
Friday: Survivor
It comes on Thursday on TV but I will be watching it on Friday at work. I got into Survivor last year and now I know how people get addicted to it. This year its Fans and Favorites so it will be interesting. Also another note now on the trips that me jacki and michelle take I can actually join the conversation and understand who all of these people are.
Sunday:
7:00 Big Brother
10:00: Rock of Love: This is a train wreak. But hilarious to watch at times. Bret Michels isn't that bad looking either, not like Flavor Flav. i actually refuse to watch his show this year. I am so over it.
So for now that is it. I really do miss my Grey's Anatomy, but I have picked up some good new ones.
Tuesday:
8:00 Big Brother:
I am happy that I am going to try and watch this show this year all of the way through. I saw the first episode and love it already. The couples twist is cool. The only sucky thing is that CBS waits 2 days to put the show up so I will get behind a little.
9:00 Bad Girls Club:
This is a crazy show but it give me and Dennis something to watch. He used to be against all reality shows but he does watch some now, which is good for me. The girls in the house are always fighting about something.
10:00 Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency:
This is the last show I think I ever thought I would watch and like. But it comes on the same channel as the above and its not so bad. She does stand up for her models. She can be a bitch sometimes but it if funny.
Wednesday
7:00 Big Brother
9:00 Gauntlet:
I love any show that has to do with Real World or Road Rules, especially the challages. I have watch Real World since day one and have only missed a couple of seasons. There is a tons of hookups this time around and that always makes good TV. ooh and it is an hour long. I been wanting that forever.
Thursday
9:00 Americas Best Dance Crew:
These crews kick ass at dancing which I love to do. They are really talented and its an hour long show I really enjoy. I don't care for Mario Lopez as the host.
Friday: Survivor
It comes on Thursday on TV but I will be watching it on Friday at work. I got into Survivor last year and now I know how people get addicted to it. This year its Fans and Favorites so it will be interesting. Also another note now on the trips that me jacki and michelle take I can actually join the conversation and understand who all of these people are.
Sunday:
7:00 Big Brother
10:00: Rock of Love: This is a train wreak. But hilarious to watch at times. Bret Michels isn't that bad looking either, not like Flavor Flav. i actually refuse to watch his show this year. I am so over it.
So for now that is it. I really do miss my Grey's Anatomy, but I have picked up some good new ones.
Woke up feeling shitty
I was a crampy sick feeling mess this morning. I couldn't get out of bed. So I called in late because I can't call off. it would mess with my overtime.
So being that I got in late I have to stay late. Its cool. I watch the Gauntlet. I think Frank and Jillian are cute together. I can't believe that Casey actually peed herself on the track above the water, she must be scared.
What else. I watch The Bad Girls Club and got to see a 9 min clip. Now I want to watch the whole thing and it won't let me. Thats why I am here killing time figuring out what to do next.
I am hungry, damn. I can't leave until 10:30.
I do feel better than earlier, so thats good.
Americas Best Dance Crew is on tonight. I'll be able to watch it at 11:00ish. I have to check if that is when it comes on again.
I can't believe it, I just said that I was feeling better and my stomach starts to hurt, come on. Weird.
I have an hour and a half left, so I am going to find something to do to kill some time.
So being that I got in late I have to stay late. Its cool. I watch the Gauntlet. I think Frank and Jillian are cute together. I can't believe that Casey actually peed herself on the track above the water, she must be scared.
What else. I watch The Bad Girls Club and got to see a 9 min clip. Now I want to watch the whole thing and it won't let me. Thats why I am here killing time figuring out what to do next.
I am hungry, damn. I can't leave until 10:30.
I do feel better than earlier, so thats good.
Americas Best Dance Crew is on tonight. I'll be able to watch it at 11:00ish. I have to check if that is when it comes on again.
I can't believe it, I just said that I was feeling better and my stomach starts to hurt, come on. Weird.
I have an hour and a half left, so I am going to find something to do to kill some time.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Stole from Jackis site
In honor of V-Day this week, here are the Maniac Monday questions...
What is the most romantic movie that you've ever seen
The Notebook with Ryan Gosling. Cry your eyes out movie. But I loved it. Its a must see.
If you could be the lover of any person alive other than your current lover, who would you pick?
Well I am taking lover as in the dirty dirty, I pick celebrity Ryan Reynolds. Tasty.
What scents remind you of a loved one?
Old Spice, reminds me of my Dad.
What is the most romantic movie that you've ever seen
The Notebook with Ryan Gosling. Cry your eyes out movie. But I loved it. Its a must see.
If you could be the lover of any person alive other than your current lover, who would you pick?
Well I am taking lover as in the dirty dirty, I pick celebrity Ryan Reynolds. Tasty.
What scents remind you of a loved one?
Old Spice, reminds me of my Dad.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Questionaire
1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?Garbage, Jumper cables, shoes, More random stuff
2. When was the last time you threw up?New Years Day, It was horrible. I haven’t drank since.
3. What's your favorite word or phrase?Fuck, all phrases that go along with it.
4. Name 3 people who made you smile today?Bailey, in her video. Dennis, Sarah
5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?Going to bed, from midnight shift
6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?Talking to Dennis on phone
7. What is your favorite holiday?Thanksgiving, I love to eat. Its usually a week after my birthday.
8. Have you ever been to a strip club?Yes.
9. What is the last thing you said aloud?”and I will always love you” Whitney Huston song. Bored at work and listening to 90’s music. I can sing as loud as I want.
10. What is the best ice cream flavor?Twist
11. Last thing you ate?Instant Lunch Chicken, those instant noodle things
12. What are you wearing right now?Black work pants, comfy shirt, fleece zip up, no socks, doesn’t make sense huh.
13. What was the last thing you ate?Check # 11.
14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?Hah hilarious, umm thats a no.
15. When was the last time you ran?In the Walmart parking lot in –30 degree weather.
16. What's the last sporting event you watched?Playoff games before the SuperBowl.
17. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?Somewhere warm on a beach with clear water and no stress.
18. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?Never have.
19. Ever go camping?Yes.!
20. Do you have a tan?Not really, Im kinda pasty
21. Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?No
22. What is your guilty pleasure?Pop, Ice cream, all I can eat at Frosty Tips
23. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?No, not so much sometimes
24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?When I drink out, otherwise no, its not the same.
25. What did your last text message say?Something about our Dauber Divas group
26. Are you someone's best friend?yes
27. What are you doing tomorrow?Sleeping, Eye Dr. Appt, working with Jacki on meeting trades, shes making me Dinner!
28. Where is your mom right now?at home Wilmington
29. Look to your left, what do you see?The other half of my office, here some stuff: mini fridge, boxes, binder, garbage can, boring shit
30. What color is your watch?i don’t own a watch.
31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?kangaroos.
32. Ever ridden on a roller coaster?Yes.
33.What is your birthstone?Topaz, the orange one like my hair.!
34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru?Drive thru.
35. Do you have any friends on myspace that you actually hate?Im sure, who knows I don’t go on there.
36. Do you have a dog?Hell no, I can’t handle a f ing a dog right now
37. Last person you talked to on the phone?Dennis
38. Have you met anyone famous?Elizabeth Perkins
39. Any plans today?Work.
41. Ever go to college?On and off between 1997 - 2006.
42. Where are you right now?Work.
43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?No comment, too much to explain
44. Last song listened to?Britney spears, Hit me one more time, Still listening to 90’s music
45. Last movie you saw?Fools Gold
46. Are you allergic to anything?Dust, mold, mildew, codeine, cinnamon
47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?Gray ballet flats they had balls on them but I ripped them off yesterday.
48. Are you jealous of anyone?No
49. Are you married?Nope
50. Is anyone jealous of you?I don’t know
51. What time is it?2:05 am
52. Do any of your friends have children?yes all of them do.
53. Do you eat healthy?I can say this, Nope
54. What do you usually do during the day?work or run errands sometimes I get to do fun stuff.
55. Do you hate anyone right now?At this moment, I though no until Dennis’s ex-partner Sam came to mind. I wouldn’t be in the fucking predicament as bad if it wasn’t for him.
56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?Yes. And Ola sometime because its fun
57. How many kids do you want when your older?One or two
58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?29
59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?Yes
60. How did you get one of your scars?Stuck my toe in the spokes of a moving bike accidentally.
2. When was the last time you threw up?New Years Day, It was horrible. I haven’t drank since.
3. What's your favorite word or phrase?Fuck, all phrases that go along with it.
4. Name 3 people who made you smile today?Bailey, in her video. Dennis, Sarah
5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?Going to bed, from midnight shift
6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?Talking to Dennis on phone
7. What is your favorite holiday?Thanksgiving, I love to eat. Its usually a week after my birthday.
8. Have you ever been to a strip club?Yes.
9. What is the last thing you said aloud?”and I will always love you” Whitney Huston song. Bored at work and listening to 90’s music. I can sing as loud as I want.
10. What is the best ice cream flavor?Twist
11. Last thing you ate?Instant Lunch Chicken, those instant noodle things
12. What are you wearing right now?Black work pants, comfy shirt, fleece zip up, no socks, doesn’t make sense huh.
13. What was the last thing you ate?Check # 11.
14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?Hah hilarious, umm thats a no.
15. When was the last time you ran?In the Walmart parking lot in –30 degree weather.
16. What's the last sporting event you watched?Playoff games before the SuperBowl.
17. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?Somewhere warm on a beach with clear water and no stress.
18. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?Never have.
19. Ever go camping?Yes.!
20. Do you have a tan?Not really, Im kinda pasty
21. Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?No
22. What is your guilty pleasure?Pop, Ice cream, all I can eat at Frosty Tips
23. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?No, not so much sometimes
24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?When I drink out, otherwise no, its not the same.
25. What did your last text message say?Something about our Dauber Divas group
26. Are you someone's best friend?yes
27. What are you doing tomorrow?Sleeping, Eye Dr. Appt, working with Jacki on meeting trades, shes making me Dinner!
28. Where is your mom right now?at home Wilmington
29. Look to your left, what do you see?The other half of my office, here some stuff: mini fridge, boxes, binder, garbage can, boring shit
30. What color is your watch?i don’t own a watch.
31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?kangaroos.
32. Ever ridden on a roller coaster?Yes.
33.What is your birthstone?Topaz, the orange one like my hair.!
34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru?Drive thru.
35. Do you have any friends on myspace that you actually hate?Im sure, who knows I don’t go on there.
36. Do you have a dog?Hell no, I can’t handle a f ing a dog right now
37. Last person you talked to on the phone?Dennis
38. Have you met anyone famous?Elizabeth Perkins
39. Any plans today?Work.
41. Ever go to college?On and off between 1997 - 2006.
42. Where are you right now?Work.
43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?No comment, too much to explain
44. Last song listened to?Britney spears, Hit me one more time, Still listening to 90’s music
45. Last movie you saw?Fools Gold
46. Are you allergic to anything?Dust, mold, mildew, codeine, cinnamon
47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?Gray ballet flats they had balls on them but I ripped them off yesterday.
48. Are you jealous of anyone?No
49. Are you married?Nope
50. Is anyone jealous of you?I don’t know
51. What time is it?2:05 am
52. Do any of your friends have children?yes all of them do.
53. Do you eat healthy?I can say this, Nope
54. What do you usually do during the day?work or run errands sometimes I get to do fun stuff.
55. Do you hate anyone right now?At this moment, I though no until Dennis’s ex-partner Sam came to mind. I wouldn’t be in the fucking predicament as bad if it wasn’t for him.
56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?Yes. And Ola sometime because its fun
57. How many kids do you want when your older?One or two
58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?29
59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?Yes
60. How did you get one of your scars?Stuck my toe in the spokes of a moving bike accidentally.
Tired.
It is 12:12am.
Working midnights.
Listening to Linkin Park.
Makes me happy.
I am stressed to the fucking max.
Faint by Linkin Park is on, love it.
I love all of them.
I love Chester.
Hes my baby daddy.
Hee hee.
"don't turn your back on me I won't be ignored".
"your gonna listen to me like it or not, right now.
All LP lyrics.
I think I have to pee.
There is stuff I need to do but my brain is tired.
I hopefully get new contacts tomorrow.
Bye for now.
Working midnights.
Listening to Linkin Park.
Makes me happy.
I am stressed to the fucking max.
Faint by Linkin Park is on, love it.
I love all of them.
I love Chester.
Hes my baby daddy.
Hee hee.
"don't turn your back on me I won't be ignored".
"your gonna listen to me like it or not, right now.
All LP lyrics.
I think I have to pee.
There is stuff I need to do but my brain is tired.
I hopefully get new contacts tomorrow.
Bye for now.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
A force to be reconded with...
We are definately a group of sisters you do not want to mess with. Mess with one and all hell will break loose. We are crazy fun with attitiude. Lindsay has more attitiude than i did in school. She doesn't fall into the same catagory me and Sarah did in school but its a good thing. Shes herself so that is awesome. I am so glad that Lindsay was born, she was a surprise to us all. But we will have problems if anyone ever hurts her.
Thats my sisters.
Best Friends......
I am so grateful to have you as my best friend. Who would of known that when we met at Empress we would be best friends forever. Okay the BFF thing came out gay.Thinking back we have been through so much and had so much fun along the way. The fact that we can say anything we want out loud is awesome. I would drop anything to help you or your family in a bind. Thats how you rate. So heres your shout out. Thanks for just being you.
Another Funny Pic
This is new years eve and I made Dennis into Ericka Badu. Can you see the enthusiasum on his face. Makes me laugh.
Crazy Angry Frog
Sorry Jacki, i was going through my pics and found this on my camera.
I could be wrong on the name, she came up with it.
It funny the bunny on her shirt has the same face.
I Just caught her off gaurd, but it is cute and made me laugh today. We laughed really hard after the picture was taken.
Okay I'm better
So I should post so you guys don't think I am crazy.
I have been busy at work the last two days, which is good.
I have been keeping high spirits for the most part. I try I really do, this is the most I have tried in a long time. I have put tons of effort into getting over things and not dwelling. Jacki, you can give me that, right? I really try to not be negative and if I am keep it to myself.
It was a goal of mine this year and I started last year after a nervous breakdown.
So when the big stupid shit happens to me I try to get it all out then crazilly start laughing, because only I can have the worst luck. I need a Luck Dragon to ride on. Can someone get me one for my birthday. I am sure we all remeber the Luck Dragon, from Never Ending Story.
So hears to staying sane, I am not out of the forest yet. I'll explain in my other blogs.
I have been busy at work the last two days, which is good.
I have been keeping high spirits for the most part. I try I really do, this is the most I have tried in a long time. I have put tons of effort into getting over things and not dwelling. Jacki, you can give me that, right? I really try to not be negative and if I am keep it to myself.
It was a goal of mine this year and I started last year after a nervous breakdown.
So when the big stupid shit happens to me I try to get it all out then crazilly start laughing, because only I can have the worst luck. I need a Luck Dragon to ride on. Can someone get me one for my birthday. I am sure we all remeber the Luck Dragon, from Never Ending Story.
So hears to staying sane, I am not out of the forest yet. I'll explain in my other blogs.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Deep End...Ready to jump off
First of all, Good morning. I am slightly content for now.
Other than the fact that Popeyes charged me 62.00 thats right 62.00 for a chicken sandwich and it took 5 days to Void and held all of my money in limbo and I had to figure out how to eat and get gas and get hygeine stuff on my days off. So thats one.
Two, only me, I'm telling you. I get up early so I can drive to Sarahs work to get her debit card so I can get gas, as if that doesn't fuck with my day and mental situation enough.
I go out to my car and the unlock button doesn't work on the key ring. So I unlock the door with the key. I attempt to start my car and my alarm goes off. WHAT! So I try again. Cool I look like a retard trying to steal my own car. I'm pushing button and trying the other key ring and the door locks don't work inside the car. There is also no power, no doors were open or lights on to kill the battery. So Dennis is awake, I mean who wouldn't with the fucking alarm going off.
So I call D'arcy, huh, I asked some question they gave answers and probably a waste. Especially they told me I could have it towed and they couldn't get to it til Monday. If I was a cartoon character my head would of blown off. So Dennis tries to jump it. Wouldn't you guess the alarm goes off again, it doesn't start it doesn't even attempt to start. So I go looking for the manual. Its not in the glove box, because I took it out last time I had a problem, I couldn't find it. Meanwhile. Dennis is trying to start it and gets it to start by turning the key and pushing the unlock button. So hooray for now. Is the car going ot start again??????
Off I go to get gas and my radio won't go on, No radio, no clock, no interior lights and I can't lock my doors from the inside. What the F. So as frustrated as I am I can't listen to anything but silence for 45 mins.
After I got to work my car did start again. Still can't unlock my car. Nice! I just remebered where my manual is, so hopefully in the meantime I can find it on the internet.
I am leaving for lunch at the buffet soon because my boss feels bad for me.
Good news, I checked my account and Popeyes fell off. This will not be the last they hear from me. Human contact or even mechanical contact not so good. I am really trying to find the bright side and will probably need a straight jacket and a padded room soon.
I do have some topics to blog on that are more fun and interesting I will do them after lunch.
Have a great day
Other than the fact that Popeyes charged me 62.00 thats right 62.00 for a chicken sandwich and it took 5 days to Void and held all of my money in limbo and I had to figure out how to eat and get gas and get hygeine stuff on my days off. So thats one.
Two, only me, I'm telling you. I get up early so I can drive to Sarahs work to get her debit card so I can get gas, as if that doesn't fuck with my day and mental situation enough.
I go out to my car and the unlock button doesn't work on the key ring. So I unlock the door with the key. I attempt to start my car and my alarm goes off. WHAT! So I try again. Cool I look like a retard trying to steal my own car. I'm pushing button and trying the other key ring and the door locks don't work inside the car. There is also no power, no doors were open or lights on to kill the battery. So Dennis is awake, I mean who wouldn't with the fucking alarm going off.
So I call D'arcy, huh, I asked some question they gave answers and probably a waste. Especially they told me I could have it towed and they couldn't get to it til Monday. If I was a cartoon character my head would of blown off. So Dennis tries to jump it. Wouldn't you guess the alarm goes off again, it doesn't start it doesn't even attempt to start. So I go looking for the manual. Its not in the glove box, because I took it out last time I had a problem, I couldn't find it. Meanwhile. Dennis is trying to start it and gets it to start by turning the key and pushing the unlock button. So hooray for now. Is the car going ot start again??????
Off I go to get gas and my radio won't go on, No radio, no clock, no interior lights and I can't lock my doors from the inside. What the F. So as frustrated as I am I can't listen to anything but silence for 45 mins.
After I got to work my car did start again. Still can't unlock my car. Nice! I just remebered where my manual is, so hopefully in the meantime I can find it on the internet.
I am leaving for lunch at the buffet soon because my boss feels bad for me.
Good news, I checked my account and Popeyes fell off. This will not be the last they hear from me. Human contact or even mechanical contact not so good. I am really trying to find the bright side and will probably need a straight jacket and a padded room soon.
I do have some topics to blog on that are more fun and interesting I will do them after lunch.
Have a great day
Sunday, February 3, 2008
More snow......
Are you kidding me. I just looked outside and everything is white. I wasn't even aware we were getting snow. Not happy about this. I don't get off until 9:00ish. Depending on the night guy, when he comes in. i don't want to drive in the crap again. Crappy Crap Crap.
You all know I hate driving on Rt30 in this crap, I love how people ride my ass in this crap.
You all know I hate driving on Rt30 in this crap, I love how people ride my ass in this crap.
Movies I watched yesterday...
I saw Juno and Meet the Spartans.
Juno is a good movie. I like the actors that were in it. I didn't even know Jennifer Garner was in it. Juno is the main character and she is hilarious when it comes to anything. One to see.
Meet the Spartans you can meet my foot. I don't think I laughed once. It kept be busy but was really stupid. These movies used to be hilarious to me. Maybe its was just a bad movie.
Theres my movie update of the week. TA DA!
Juno is a good movie. I like the actors that were in it. I didn't even know Jennifer Garner was in it. Juno is the main character and she is hilarious when it comes to anything. One to see.
Meet the Spartans you can meet my foot. I don't think I laughed once. It kept be busy but was really stupid. These movies used to be hilarious to me. Maybe its was just a bad movie.
Theres my movie update of the week. TA DA!
SuperBowl Sunday
Yeah, whatever. If I was home I would watch it because I like football. But I am at work making overtime. Black Betty, thats for you Jayme, is having her annual Superbowl party. I haven't seen a Superbowl in years beacause I am always covering this day. Sometimes knowingly sometimes not. I never knew what day the Superbowl was on. No big whoop. I will be here in Hollywood land for day five and watching whatever I can find. I don't have a team to win. Hopefully some good commercials will come out of it.
I made extra oatmeal this morning because I was starving. Too much oatmeal. I had to stop eating it. I think it is expanding in my stomach.
I also had to walk over to the casino as soon as I walked in today. At least hopefully thats it for awhile. My throat is still bothering me and acts up when I am outside making that stupid walk.
So have a fun Superbowl day. Bye.
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