Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Shopping...love/hate relationshiip...

Yep love hate is right. I want to love to go shopping for clothes but it hates me back.

ERRRR!

Number 1: it takes money from the money tree to purchased these wonderful clothes
-I am now ready to spend the big bucks, haha, on clothes. Okay number 1 taken care off.

Number 2: My body shape is down right stupid, yes I called my body stupid. But it is.
-I have this square shapish and long torso. I have just started noticing that we all have different sizes of torso, I know it sounds dumb, but seriously I find myself slouching because i feel like I am towering over person just sitting up. Okay I am not a freak of nature or anything. But my butt is further down and it looks like I have no waist. Its all because I am stretched out.

So on to the reason. You need a freaking a waist to hold up your pants, thank you mom and dad for creating me. If I was to wear my pants anywhere near my waist I'd be wearing 80 stone washed jeans, you got a visual or maybe even Steve Erkel, we all remember him.

Moral - pants shopping sucks.

Number 3: Let just say Holy BOOBS.
-I have a size 38D boobins I am average weight for my height of 5'7. So I always have to get size large or extra large shirts. Well this make me look like i am swimming in them and totally loose the little curve I have. Now I really look like a Square :(

Moral- shirt shopping sucks.

Number 4: I have tiny wide feet.
So all of the cute 6's and 7's only fit narrow feet. Come on mom and Dad, do I get something normal.
Ask anyone I know, you don't want to go shoe shopping with me no..no.. They go screaming in the other direction.

Moral - shoe shopping really sucks.

I have gotten used to all of this because it is me.

I love to shop its just more of a chore than anything. But I love me and the things that I can change I will everything else I just grow to love.

I will just rock out my square, boobyfied, funny feet self. HAHAHA I even make myself laugh.

2 comments:

Jacki McHale said...

Well my square friend, I am sad to inform you that I do have hips, but my retarded shape makes so my hips are WAY bigger then my waist, so the pants just fit my big ass, but I have a 4 inch gap around the top?!? Unless they are lowrise, and well with a badunka dunk like this one, and the muffin top I can hang over the edge too. Sports a hot mess, that makes me cringe at the thought of clothes shopping.

And by they way readers. She is NOT exagerating on the shoe shopping. I am one of the "No WAY!" people. I have done it once, and that was WAY to much time in Kohls shoe department for some damn black chuck loafers all for Frankie the dog to munch on them!

Jenalyn said...

I do find myself shoe shopping alone, now. I used to but Dennis through that in our early dating years. Poor guy!