My mom wore the tightest pants ever. Me and my sister would have to help her zip her pants up. She would lay on the bed and button her pants and one of us had a fork and put it through the zipper and pulled and the other one pushed her belly down. Seriously now.
I was working here at Hollywood late and Alex the night guy was in. He decided it would be funny to scare me. Well I scare easily and scream loudly and thats what i did. I ended up scaring the shit out of him. He had no idea what he was in for. We would always laugh about that.
Me and Dennis were first talking years and years ago before we started going out. I had a thing with saying "Shut the fuck up" in my language it mean't "really!" So i asked Dennis what time it was and he said whatever time it was, well I was shocked and said "shut the fuck up" He replied by saying "okay fine its whatever time you want it to be". He took it offensively, it took awhile to convince him that I wasn't being mean. Too Funny to this day we bring that up.
Here is a funny embarrassing one my sister always brings up. It was X-mas eve and we were all dressed up and ready to see our whole Allen family. I had this huge backhead on the end of my nose. So I though I'll just take care of that before I leave. Well this was a biggin' and it left a noticable hole. So Sarah was in the bathroom with me and saw me do this unfortunaely she also saw me looking for it to put back in the hole. I know embarrassing on my part. I didn't do it she wouldn't of let me.
We were at a get together in Champaign, me 19, Sarah 16. Well obviously underage and the cops were outside the house talking to one of four of the owners of the house, Dennis being one but not the one the cop was talking to. So I took Sarah into the bathroom and I got into the shower, I was a little tipsy by the way. I don't think she was even drinking. So I wanted it to be believable and started taking my clothes off in the shower, I am also now half wet. So I told Sarah just get in and face the other way. My thinking was they wouldn't come in the shower looking for people especially if it was running. She never got in. Yeah I will never hear the end of that one from Sarah ever and everyone in the house got a kick out of it too.
Another party I was maybe 19 or 20? Whatever underage and I was freaking bombed. Big time. I was laying on the bathroom floor I have no idea why either. This girl I barely knew comes in and starts to go to the bathroom, and me and her were just having this conversation about something. All of a sudden one of the of-agers comes running into the bathroom and says the cops are here run outside . So me drunk, dizzy, can barely walk. I have my purse on my arm I walk out of the bathroom see a blue flashing light and book it for the sliding glass door. Well I didn't see the screen and busted through it. Looking back now, there were people standing on the outside of it. Could you iamgine what they were thinking as the screen come flying off and I'm behind it running. Yeah it gets better. This dudes yard was a damn ski slope hill and at the bottom of it was a corn field. As I am runnning down the steepest hill know to man I trip and slide down this hill purse on shoulder and on both knees kinda like I was sledding, this didn't feel good by the way. The reason i slid down was because it had just raining the night before. So now I am muddy on top of it. I went into the corn to find my underage friends just standing their. From that night on we were remembered as the children of the corn. The of-agers though we were crazy they had no idea where we all went. So adventually someone came and found us.
So it turns out that the cops were only at the end of the street, the blue light was the light on top of the Dennis's DJ booth, and the marks from me sliding down the hill were there for a long time. How does that guy explain not having a party to his parents.
As I was writing this I was cracking up. One of the funniest stories ever.
Hope you enjoyed my funny embarassing stories, I did writing them.
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